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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 14, 2023 4:07:52 GMT
Granted. You now have no neck bones and see the world sideways as your head flops down.
I wish it wasn't such shitty weather constantly here
Also Mike Brown's a dick, Pluto should be a planet. I clear my neighborhood of nearby desserts and I'm not a planet.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 14, 2023 12:05:36 GMT
Granted--the shit in the forecast has been replaced with semen. And it is really coming down out there.
I wish I didn't have a sore throat.
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Post by miles on Jul 15, 2023 2:01:49 GMT
Granted. I hope you like migraines.
I wish the entertainment industry would give the writers and actors what they need to survive.
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Post by donavan on Jul 15, 2023 5:01:19 GMT
Granted as long as writers/actors begin to see beyond guns and murder as subject material.
I wish I didn't have two boxes of flat-pack furniture to put together this weekend.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 15, 2023 12:36:30 GMT
Granted--you have two hundred.
I wish the neighbors' cats would quit screeching.
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Post by miles on Jul 16, 2023 0:04:17 GMT
Granted, through innovative technology the songbook of Barry White was uploaded into the cats with AI voice simulators, who will entertain you with a never ending medley of Oh Baby...
I wish that fish could explain themselves better.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 16, 2023 17:21:06 GMT
Granted--the shark will give a detailed description of its nutritional needs right before it eats you.
I wish nighttime would arrive sooner.
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Post by miles on Jul 16, 2023 19:54:22 GMT
Granted, we are skipping summer and fall all together and heading straight to winter.
I wish people still used email.
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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 16, 2023 21:31:25 GMT
Granted but now they're also pinging you with AIM messages.
I wish people weren't so shitty and dumb as to vote R.
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Post by donavan on Jul 17, 2023 7:36:16 GMT
Denied as they usually vote X
I wish I hadn't drunk so much booze last night.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 17, 2023 14:28:21 GMT
Granted--you absorbed it rectally, and now your ass is hungover.
I wish I didn't need a haircut.
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Post by miles on Jul 18, 2023 18:44:13 GMT
Granted, that hair has been removed surgically.
I wish cows could write fiction.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 19, 2023 12:23:34 GMT
Granted--first children's book is The Cattle in the Hat, and your offer to illustrate led to the author mooing with laughter. You have reached a new low.
I wish more people appreciated puns.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Aug 11, 2023 15:00:33 GMT
Granted, but their wordplay is in French. Oh, Merde de Simpleton.
I wish I hadn't forgotten the Japanese language courses I took in college.
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Post by miles on Aug 29, 2023 0:19:04 GMT
Granted. To assist your memory, all text messages and emails on your devices will be in Japanese.
I wish that reading was something that people enjoyed, as much as fast food.
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