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Post by Terra Incognita on Apr 4, 2020 16:11:55 GMT
Granted -- You've passed them all to Don. Luckily for him, the only remedy is self-medicating with red wine.
I wish I had just one bottle of wine left. I'm parched and sober -- bad combination.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Apr 7, 2020 16:12:50 GMT
Granted, although you should have wished for more. We just found a stockpile of one thousand bottles of wine on your property, but as you only want one, the other 999 will be given a good home. Thanks for your generosity, Terra.
I wish pedestrians passing in front of my house would stop throwing cigarette butts in my yard.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Apr 18, 2020 4:30:06 GMT
Granted--now they are rubbing their buttocks in my yard.
I wish passersby when I go for my daily walk would not get within six feet of me, the pestilent pricks.
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Post by Terra Incognita on May 1, 2020 21:34:46 GMT
Granted, they stay a good twenty feet away from you, because you've just eaten a crate of baked beans.
I wish I could get rid of my cat without upsetting the kids.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on May 2, 2020 1:30:06 GMT
Granted--just don't tell them what they are eating.
I wish I had more scotch.
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Post by donavan on May 2, 2020 11:00:40 GMT
Denied. You can have Vodka or Tequila because I'm calling the shots.
I wish I could muster up some enthusiasm for something or other.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on May 2, 2020 17:25:29 GMT
Granted--you will now go perform "something or other," a new masturbatory technique that has all the shame and crying but none of the orgasm.
I wish I hadn't tripped last night and bruised my knee.
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Post by Terra Incognita on May 3, 2020 12:27:33 GMT
Granted -- You tripped and bruised your junk. Functionality will return in a year.
I wish I didn't have so many ants in the house.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on May 3, 2020 16:24:33 GMT
Granted--they have relocated to your urethra.
I wish the local Mexican restaurant was not currently closed. I could use some fajitas for lunch.
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Post by Terra Incognita on May 9, 2020 12:54:26 GMT
Granted -- but the fajitas are a bit heavy on the spicy side. Hope you have lots of toilet paper handy.
I wish George Harrison were still with us.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on May 9, 2020 15:35:25 GMT
Granted--he has now consumed all of the food and booze in your house, used all of your toilet paper, and emptied your bank accounts. Don't worry--he'll leave in three or four years.
I wish I hadn't gone bald.
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Post by Terra Incognita on May 9, 2020 17:46:51 GMT
Granted:
And that's what happens when you verbally abuse a unionized genie.
I wish we could all speak Icelandic.
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Post by donavan on May 9, 2020 20:01:20 GMT
Non
I wish I didn't Oui so much in the nuit?
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Post by Finntrovertigo on May 9, 2020 21:08:27 GMT
Granted--no more night peeing. Instead, you will piss constantly during the daylight hours. And the long days of summer are just a month away.
I wish I hadn't inadvertently whacked myself in the face with a tree branch while on a walk earlier.
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Post by Terra Incognita on May 9, 2020 21:56:57 GMT
Granted -- It whacked you in the nuts. Now you can't walk and have to get home on your hands and knees.
I wish I only had one set of genitals.
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