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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 20, 2020 23:51:27 GMT
Granted--now enjoy your lifetime supply of lima-bean ice cream.
I wish the grocery stores weren't out of potatoes.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Mar 21, 2020 12:13:06 GMT
Granted -- They are now fully stocked with irregular-shaped, tangerine- sized taters. Enjoy peeling those suckers!
I wish I didn't have to go out for groceries.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 21, 2020 15:05:30 GMT
Granted--you have starved to death, and your unwashed corpse will be donated to science friction.
I wish I didn't have to poop.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 28, 2020 1:48:33 GMT
Granted--now I have to pee incessantly.
I wish my feet weren't sore.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Mar 28, 2020 12:04:07 GMT
Granted -- The doctor has ordered you to walk on your knees all the time.
I wish my mattress wasn't so lumpy.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 28, 2020 16:09:32 GMT
Granted--you mattress is smooth; you are now lumpy.
I wish I didn't have to clean my house.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Mar 28, 2020 16:12:33 GMT
Granted -- You have been tranformed into a pig and now positively revel and roll in the filth of your home.
I wish my hunger pangs would go away; it's not mealtime yet.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 31, 2020 2:48:04 GMT
Granted--now, about those diarrhea pangs...
I wish spirits were cheaper.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Mar 31, 2020 17:19:14 GMT
Granted -- Casper and Spooky comic books are now selling for ten cents apiece as in days of yore.
I wish I had a chicken coop in my yard.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Mar 31, 2020 17:29:35 GMT
Granted--but as all of the chickens have been eaten, you now have a weasel coop in your yard.
I wish I had gotten a better night's sleep last night.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Apr 4, 2020 12:58:11 GMT
GRANTED -- You got 2 hours and one minute's sleep as opposed to just 2 hours' worth.
I wish the parks were still open for walks.
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Post by donavan on Apr 4, 2020 14:47:04 GMT
Granted. But you'll need to fly over here to England. And you won't even be quarantined when you get here. Crazy.
I wish I hadn't allowed my son to give me a haircut. What a mess!
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Apr 4, 2020 15:30:08 GMT
Granted--your son has moved on to manscaping. Brazilian wax, Don?
I wish the neighbors walking their dogs would pick up the dog shit left behind.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Apr 4, 2020 15:51:27 GMT
Granted -- They're picking it up and playing baseball with it on your back porch.
I wish I had me a great, big bowl of vegetarian chili, piping hot and kill-me-spicy.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Apr 4, 2020 16:09:36 GMT
Granted--for your next wish, I recommend a spoon.
I wish my allergies would quit affecting me.
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