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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 25, 2022 3:03:58 GMT
When your boss asks you to come in to work on your day off, say no. Someday, I hope I will take my own advices.
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Post by Dr Hugbine on Jul 25, 2022 10:45:58 GMT
ALWAYS be the first to apologise. ESPECIALLY when it's not your fault.
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Post by donavan on Jul 25, 2022 11:39:25 GMT
Sorry
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Post by Mare on Jul 25, 2022 16:53:44 GMT
ALWAYS be the first to apologise. ESPECIALLY when it's not your fault. Good one, Dr. H. Don't jump to confusions (sic.)
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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 26, 2022 5:36:25 GMT
From Benjamin Franklin, a letter
"A Letter to a Royal Academy" was composed in response to a call for scientific papers from the Royal Academy of Brussels. Franklin believed that the various academic societies in Europe were increasingly pretentious and concerned with the impractical. Revealing his "bawdy, scurrilous side,"[1] Franklin responded with an essay suggesting that research and practical reasoning be undertaken into methods of improving the odor of human flatulence.[1]
The letter:
GENTLEMEN,
I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. “Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee”. I was glad to find by these following Words, “l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE”, that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater Utility.
Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age.
It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.
That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.
That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.
That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.
My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.
That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?
For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your “Figure quelconque” and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a
FART-HING.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 25, 2023 21:28:42 GMT
If you live in Ohio, vote no on Issue 1 in the August special election. If you don't live in Ohio, then for the love of Dog don't move here!
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Post by donavan on Jul 26, 2023 12:07:43 GMT
What is issue 1 ?
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 26, 2023 14:15:07 GMT
Republicans have gerrymandered the statehouse to have almost complete power. The one avenue left is to utilize citizen-led ballot initiatives, including one this year that will enshrine abortion rights in the state constitution. Conservatives, as a result, are trying to neuter these initiatives by raising the current standard, which is a simple majority, to 60% support (for example, polling shows the abortion rights initiative at 58% popularity, well above a simple majority but not quite reaching the 60% mark). To tank the abortion initiative, Republicans are trying to force through Issue 1 in a special August election (generally low voter turnout which tends to favor Republicans) before the November general election when the abortion rights initiative will be voted upon. By the way, these same Republicans banned August special elections less than a year ago as a waste of resources, but now they have violated their own law to try to tank abortion rights. Issue 1 would also make gathering signatures for ballot initiatives much more difficult; in other words, conservatives, who control the statehouse, governor's office, and supreme court, want this power taken away pretty much completely from Ohio voters. Oh, and supposedly this is about discouraging big-moneyed, out-of-state interests from controlling Ohio politics; the entire conservative effort is being bankrolled by a billionaire from Illinois.
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Post by donavan on Jul 26, 2023 14:26:23 GMT
So what's Sleepy Joe doing about it?
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 26, 2023 15:20:51 GMT
He can't do anything about it--states' rights and all, at least until the citizens of those states don't kowtow to the people in office.
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Post by donavan on Jul 26, 2023 18:54:08 GMT
A little boy asked me should he put his vote upon the left? A little boy asked me should he put his vote upon the right? I say it really doesn't matter where you put your vote 'Cause someone else will come along and move it And it's always been the same It's just a complicated game Oh, it's just a complicated game
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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 29, 2023 5:36:36 GMT
When the full (hairy) moon comes out in Iceland turn away turn away, lest you be blinded!
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Post by bluedemon25 on Jul 29, 2023 5:37:54 GMT
If you're eating finger lickin'good food, Don't be scratching your ass with the same hand.
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Post by donavan on Jul 29, 2023 5:44:08 GMT
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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Post by Finntrovertigo on Jul 29, 2023 14:25:20 GMT
What a foul tongue--better add this to the Swear Jar.
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