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Post by Mr Tein on Feb 23, 2015 17:07:40 GMT
You are but when you turn sideways and poke your tongue out people think you are a zip. ( Boom boom)
I wish real life penquins were covered in chocolate like the biscuits
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Post by Dr Hugbine on Feb 23, 2015 18:17:48 GMT
Granted but they're blubbery and fishy and hard to wrap in cellophane or keep in boxes, and the environmental impact is monstrous, and it's all traced back to your bizarre whim, and you're tried and sentenced to spending the rest of your life in a small penguin enclosure with nothing but sprats for tea and pengs for mates.
I wish Burton'sā¢ Wagon Wheels were as big as wagon wheels.
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Post by Mr Tein on Feb 23, 2015 22:51:41 GMT
*flash* In shock news today all wagon wheels are now the size of real wagon wheels. However the worlds supply is locked in a secret hanger along with Dr Hugbine who is now required to live solely on them and the new chocolate covered "real" penguins. he has bottled water too.
I wish the musical scale had only two notes
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Post by Introvertigroo on Feb 24, 2015 1:09:57 GMT
Granted, but as you have just been stricken deaf, you'll hear neither of them.
I wish I didn't need eyeglasses anymore.
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Post by lostjockey on Feb 24, 2015 8:37:54 GMT
Granted I have removed your eyes.
I wish I could go to the moon.
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Post by Dr Hugbine on Feb 24, 2015 9:18:24 GMT
Wow, great news! Your Moon permit has arrived and you're cleared to ascend - regrettably now that the Space Shuttle fleet has been grounded, you'll have to use the ladder. Happy landings!
I wish my dentist would stop asking me questions when he has his hand in my mouth.
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Post by Mr Tein on Feb 24, 2015 11:09:31 GMT
Granted, Now he only quizzes you with his hand up your jacksy.
I wish I had crocodile shoes
* another word for Khyber pass
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Post by anothersatellite on Feb 24, 2015 17:39:42 GMT
Granted. They're just about up to your knees now, and you're bleeding profusely.
I wish I had pursued an advanced degree.
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Post by peggs on Feb 25, 2015 0:05:06 GMT
Granted, you are the proud owner of a PhD in 18th Century Finnish Literature. Unfortunately, even Finnish universities have eliminated course studies in your field so, to pay back your student loans, you work as a greeter at the Helsinki Walmart.
I wish I had an older brother.
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Post by anothersatellite on Feb 25, 2015 2:40:53 GMT
You do! He's actually only a few seconds older, but still. He would probably show up on an MRI. He controls your body while you sleep, and he'll probably start growing again any day.
(sorry, that was Kauboi, not me)
You do! He's crawled out from under a camper van parked down in the warehouse district. He wandered off mumbling something about claiming his "birthright."
Okay, sorry peggs.
I wish I didn't automatically come up with such creepy responses.
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Post by Introvertigroo on Feb 25, 2015 2:47:57 GMT
Granted. We have removed the "creepy" section from your brain, so now all of your responses will involve massive drooling, unintelligible moaning, and uncontrollable defecation. Nothing creepy about those things.
I wish I had some new clothes, as my wardrobe is growing a bit threadbare.
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Post by lostjockey on Feb 25, 2015 9:16:05 GMT
Granted. I have provided you with the same opulent outfit that the emperor wore in the fairy tale.
I wish I could pay the violin.
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Post by Mr Tein on Feb 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT
You can. In fact you have to PAY the violin all your cash, your house, your car, your musical instruements and any earnings you receive until 2025
I wish I could PLAY the violin
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Post by Introvertigroo on Feb 25, 2015 12:05:11 GMT
Granted, but you can only play the complete Spice Girls catalog.
I wish I could lose the spare tire around my midsection.
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Post by Mr Tein on Feb 25, 2015 14:06:09 GMT
and you have. It is lost in the huge moobs and thighs you now have.
I wish I had a sports car and a perfect gorgeuous blonde lady
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