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Post by donavan on Sept 1, 2016 6:29:04 GMT
I wanted to communicate with a Native American, but I didn't know how.
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Post by donavan on Sept 4, 2016 10:42:23 GMT
I was telling my doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting. She said "How many years have you had it for?" I said, "15 Love"
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Post by donavan on Sept 5, 2016 9:43:43 GMT
BREAKING NEWS : Apple have abandoned plans to build cruise liners after their prototype, "The iTanic" kept syncing whenever it docked.
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Post by donavan on Sept 7, 2016 4:16:41 GMT
Strange beer to the left of me, cheap biscuits to the right. Here I am, stuck in the Lidl with you!
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Post by Jeff Truzzi on Sept 7, 2016 9:14:39 GMT
written above a urinal:
"The joke is in your hand."
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Post by bimble on Sept 8, 2016 8:12:50 GMT
I wanted to communicate with a Native American, but I didn't know how. I applied to join the Sioux tribe, but apparently I wasn't brave enough.
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Post by donavan on Sept 8, 2016 16:38:28 GMT
Son - Dad I've got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married 25 years.
Dad - Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part.
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Post by donavan on Sept 9, 2016 16:26:40 GMT
I couldn't decide whether to sell my bed or not.... So I slept on it!
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Post by donavan on Sept 11, 2016 19:46:28 GMT
I had a dream last night that I was getting a blow-job from the blonde one from ABBA. I only woke up because his beard was tickling my balls.
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Post by donavan on Sept 14, 2016 4:12:03 GMT
6:30 is definitely the best time on a clock... Hands down.
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Post by donavan on Sept 21, 2016 10:18:39 GMT
People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.
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Post by donavan on Sept 27, 2016 22:20:54 GMT
Some guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
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Post by donavan on Sept 29, 2016 18:06:03 GMT
Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara.
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Post by donavan on Oct 5, 2016 21:32:37 GMT
A man is at court today for damaging books by putting tippex on all the full stops. He's expecting a long sentence.
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Post by donavan on Oct 18, 2016 16:44:26 GMT
Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It’s open Mike night.
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