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Post by donavan on Sept 7, 2019 21:00:37 GMT
A baby seal walks into a bar
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Post by Terra Incognita on Sept 12, 2019 1:19:25 GMT
A panda walks into a bar. He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!” Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
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Post by donavan on Sept 12, 2019 11:10:38 GMT
That could also apply to a panda on a one night stand.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Sept 12, 2019 19:59:25 GMT
Wham-ban, thank you Pan?
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Post by Terra Incognita on Sept 22, 2019 16:45:44 GMT
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happend, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
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Post by donavan on Sept 26, 2019 16:50:48 GMT
Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me the other day. Luckily I escaped with minor super fish oil injuries.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Oct 1, 2019 21:39:39 GMT
A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. "A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich," he says to the barman. "I'm sorry, sir," replies the barman, "we don't serve food in here."
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Post by Terra Incognita on Oct 4, 2019 3:32:24 GMT
A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
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Post by Terra Incognita on Oct 15, 2019 19:15:35 GMT
"Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."
-- Someone on Facebook
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Post by Introvertigroo on Oct 15, 2019 20:35:37 GMT
That joke was a snore.
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Post by donavan on Oct 15, 2019 22:45:56 GMT
Hear about the new restaurant called 'Karma'? There's no menu, you only get what you deserve.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Oct 15, 2019 22:52:05 GMT
Hear about the new restaurant called 'Karma'? There's no menu, you only get what you deserve. Hurray, cricket grubs for me
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Post by Introvertigroo on Oct 15, 2019 22:54:25 GMT
I think you meant cliquets, Terra.
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Post by Terra Incognita on Oct 15, 2019 22:57:40 GMT
Don't make fun of my Japanese accent, Intro, or I'll report you to the Head Beagle.
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Post by donavan on Oct 16, 2019 8:56:18 GMT
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
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