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Post by Introvertigroo on Jun 26, 2016 2:28:01 GMT
The large quantity of fireflies that were smashed against my car on my way home from work this evening reminded me of this chestnut:
What is the last thing a bug sees when it hits your windshield?
Its asshole.
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Post by donavan on Jun 26, 2016 8:11:46 GMT
Sterling hasn't dropped in value this quickly since Raheem signed for Man City.
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Post by donavan on Jun 27, 2016 14:25:25 GMT
Inspired by the UK, Donald Trump is now calling for the USA to leave the EU.
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Post by donavan on Jun 28, 2016 16:39:11 GMT
Just been thrown out of cinema for taking my own food.
Been ages since I've had a barbecue.
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Post by donavan on Jun 30, 2016 16:35:23 GMT
Me and my limbo teammates go way back.
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Post by donavan on Jul 1, 2016 16:56:07 GMT
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...
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Post by donavan on Jul 5, 2016 17:13:28 GMT
My pet mouse Elvis died today. He was caught in a trap.
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Post by donavan on Jul 6, 2016 16:22:07 GMT
And the Oscar goes to........ Jail
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Post by donavan on Jul 13, 2016 21:30:37 GMT
My arse was sore after a curry. The wife said, 'ringsting.' I said 'what the feck will he know about it?'
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Post by donavan on Jul 14, 2016 21:30:22 GMT
Why are mountains so funny?
Because they are hill areas.
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Post by donavan on Jul 20, 2016 15:48:50 GMT
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
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Post by donavan on Jul 22, 2016 16:04:30 GMT
I just bought a new blindfold, can't see myself wearing it though.
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Post by donavan on Jul 24, 2016 19:18:51 GMT
I got really emotional this morning at the petrol station.. I don't know why.. I just started filling up.
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Post by Mr Tein on Jul 25, 2016 11:04:42 GMT
I stole the PUNCTUATION keys from a judge recently. Im expecting a long sentence.
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Post by Mr Tein on Jul 25, 2016 11:05:48 GMT
I tried to start up a CHICKEN dating agency but it failed. I struggled to make HENS meet,
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