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Post by donavan on Mar 1, 2016 18:15:24 GMT
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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Post by Dr Hugbine on Mar 4, 2016 12:16:29 GMT
Naturist, Mr 70s.
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Post by donavan on Mar 6, 2016 22:20:31 GMT
You'll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
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Post by donavan on Mar 7, 2016 16:24:17 GMT
When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.
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Post by Introvertigroo on Mar 16, 2016 2:05:38 GMT
Recently a friend of mine mentioned an attempt to bring an outlaw country festival to Greenfield, partly inspired by this being the birthplace of Johnny Paycheck (no, wait, this isn't the joke), partly by an acquaintance from high school who fancied himself an outlaw musician, writing country songs with beautiful melodies and exceptionally filthy lyrics. His songs always reminded of this classic joke.
A pianist is performing in a club, awing the audience with his intricate melodies and dexterity, but the crowd is stunned when he ends his first song and says, "Thank you. That was my song, "I farted on your entree, so eat every fucking morsel." He then begins his next tune, even lovelier than the first, and says at the conclusion of the song, "That was, of course, my hit, "I've got a boner that won't fucking quit." He then proceeds to play several more songs, each one a beautiful melody but each bearing a profane title. Eventually he says that he is going to take a five-minute break, which he uses to go to the bathroom; however, in his haste to return to the stage, he forgets to zip his zipper. Returning to the stage, he asks the nonplussed audience if anyone has a request. A little old lady sitting near the stage raises her hand and says, "Excuse me, young man, but do you know you're fly is unzipped and your penis is hanging out?" The pianist laughs and says, "Know it? Lady, I wrote it."
I am a sucker for sophisticated humor.
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Post by donavan on Mar 16, 2016 17:28:10 GMT
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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Post by donavan on Apr 5, 2016 19:59:13 GMT
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.
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Post by peggs on Apr 21, 2016 2:06:31 GMT
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Hey now! Them's fightin' words. Where are you again?
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Post by Introvertigroo on Apr 30, 2016 1:25:33 GMT
You'll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace. Hearthy-har-har.
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Post by Introvertigroo on May 26, 2016 1:35:31 GMT
Donald Trump might be the next president. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Wait, that might actually happen? Oh, fuck.
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Post by donavan on May 28, 2016 9:47:26 GMT
Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.
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Post by Introvertigroo on May 28, 2016 10:13:39 GMT
That one made me laugh so hard that I cried.
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Post by donavan on May 30, 2016 7:58:08 GMT
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
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Post by donavan on Jun 1, 2016 4:49:48 GMT
Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'
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Post by donavan on Jun 19, 2016 12:55:45 GMT
I wasn't going to get a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
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